How Should Parents Respond to Christian Metal?
Communication is the key to finding out if Christian metal is a good choice for your teen.
Articles within this series
- Overview
- Blending into the Mainstream
- 'How Do I Know They’re Christian?'
- How Should Parents Respond to Christian Metal?
- Next Steps / Related Information
Knowing that a snarling vocalist’s heart is in the right place may be small consolation to parents whose teeth have been set on edge by a shrill screamo track. Nice guys? Great. Mom and Dad are still hunting for pentagrams in the liner notes. If that’s you, be careful not to overreact. Instead of relying on an instinctive, wholesale approval or disapproval of Christian metal, prayerfully work through lyrics, examine images, and browse bands’ official Web sites with your teen. Even more important, help adolescents see how the music might affect them personally. Ask questions such as:
- What do this band’s lyrics teach you about who God is and who we are?
- How do you think this music affects your overall mood or attitude toward others?
- How is this music influencing your relationship with God?
- How do you connect emotionally with a particular band or song? What lyrics do you identify with?
- If a certain band’s music includes darker themes, what are you consuming that will provide balance — lyrics that offer hope or a bigger perspective? Which message do you prefer, and why?
There’s no substitute for communication. Parents who have put forth this effort usually earn the right, in a teen’s eyes, to express their own concerns and opinions. And, provided your teen responds to this quest for understanding with more than just apathetic grunts and shoulder shrugs, a profitable dialogue could lead to some sort of trial period.
“Our son developed an interest in Demon Hunter when friends at church introduced him to it,” said one parent, who doesn’t want to be legalistic but refuses to yield ground on the things that matter most. “We decided to let him listen but made it clear that we’d be monitoring his attitude. If his disposition changes or he shows a quicker temper, the music goes away. It’s a privilege, not a right.”
Meanwhile, other families are thrilled that such bands even exist. Underoath and their peers provide a sonically grating but lyrically benign alternative to the self-destructive messages being dumped into the culture by secular acts such as Slipknot, Deicide, Trivium, Lamb of God and Atreyu. When a metal lover is filling his mind with thoughts of revenge or suicide, any step in a positive direction is welcome.
Screamo. Thrashcore. Deathcore. No matter what you call it or where you come down on the edgiest, most divisive music playing on kids’ iPods today, do your best to preserve an open, respectful relationship. The apostle Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 6:12 (NIV), “‘Everything is permissible for me’ — but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible for me’ — but I will not be mastered by anything.” As you seek to answer the question “Is this genre healthy?” be careful not to let a negative, knee-jerk reaction to the holy growl drive a wedge between you and your teen.