10 Reasons to Keep the Computer in the Family Room

Between their phones, computers, and video games, kids are always doing something that seems a bit foreign to parents. When we were kids, we played outside until dark, or at least until our mom called us inside, remember?

Things are different now. Kids don't play outside until dark (it may not be safe for them to do so); they play video games until you tell them dinner's ready. They text friends while sitting in classes at school, and get all the information they need about anything they want to know about online. Do kids even go to the library anymore?

There's all of this new technology, so it's more important than ever to keep up with it. We want to keep children safe while they're online, but it's easy for them to get lost. They may — often inadvertently — post their name, phone number, and address on their MySpace page. They might have an instant message conversation with a stranger. They might Google for "kids videos" but type in "kiss videos."

As parents, it's easier to try to keep up with what our kids see and do online if the computer in the family room. To expand on that thought, here are my top 10 reasons why parents should keep the computer in the family room (in no particular order):

• Online surfing can be a family activity. We can teach our children how to surf safely, explain why we've set up specific restrictions with software, and teach them how to find the information they need by searching from a kid-friendly Web site, instead of something more generic like Google. Be sure to explain that not all Internet data is accurate or reliable.
• Parents can set boundaries. It's easier to know exactly how much time our children spend online and on the computer if it's in the family room. We can then limit that time as warranted. We can also decide if the game they're playing is too violent, or if they are visiting sites we'd rather they didn't visit.
• Parents can lead by example. A computer can be more than a place to surf the Internet or do homework. We can lead by example by using the computer to download a dinner recipe; keep a family calendar of events, appointments, sports practices and games; and use the computer as a "refrigerator" to show off our children's accomplishments as a desktop background.
• Kids love to talk. Chat rooms provide one outlet for kids to talk. Chat rooms are virtual online rooms where people who share a similar interest, like SpongeBob SquarePants, skiing or dogs, can talk to each other using text messaging software. Yes, this software is on your computer and your kids have access to it. Unfortunately, predators linger in the background, waiting to pounce. That's the downside to visiting chat rooms. It's best if we don't let our kids use chat rooms at all, but if we do, at least we can monitor what's going on with the computer nearby in the family room.
• Kids have personal Web pages. They create them on MySpace, Facebook or similar sites, and generally put quite a bit of personal information there. These Web sites are like online diaries. Depending on how they're created, anyone in cyberspace can access our kids' most personal thoughts and private information (such as name, age, and address). We must ask our kids if they have a personal Web page, and make sure we have unlimited access to it.
• Kids use the Internet to bully other kids. So many kids have Web access now that it's easy to bully, disrespect, or spread rumors about other kids online. The bullying comes via Web pages, e-mail, chat rooms, blogs, and instant messaging. Having the computer our child uses in the family room will allow us to sense if anything like this is going on. If it is, we need to talk to our child about it.
• Predators abound. The University of New Hampshire Crimes Against Children Research Center reported the results of a 2005 national survey of 1,500 Internet users between the ages of 10 and 17. One in seven had received "unwanted sexual solicitations or approaches in the past year." Ninety percent of the sexual solicitations happened to youths who were age 13 or older. Twelve percent reported these solicitations to their parents; the other 88 percent did not.
• Viruses, worms and spyware are a threat. It's still possible for your computer to become infected, even if you have installed the most sophisticated software available to protect it from Internet harm. Viruses, worms and spyware are everywhere. If your computer is hit, your child could be the unknowing culprit. Downloading and installing third-party software, screensavers, themes and music programs are often the cause. Understanding what your child is downloading will help prevent these problems.
• Online marketing is directed toward children. Children have a lot of power over family purchases — from food to clothing to toys. Advertisers can and do use the Internet to gather personal information from your kids for marketing purposes. They get this information by having them complete online surveys or complete Web site membership forms to receive free games, prizes, or access to something else they'd like to see on that particular Web site. Advertisers can send e-mail messages or printed material to the home to gain more clout with the child if they have an e-mail or home address in hand.
• Parents are in charge. When we're in charge, we can keep anti-virus software up-to-date, run disk defragmenter and disk cleanup once a month, delete unwanted material from the computer's hard drive, and turn the computer off if we so desire.

*(Note: Referrals to Web sites not produced by Focus on the Family are for informational purposes only and do not necessarily constitute an endorsement of the sites' content.)

• Back to top
• Print this page
• Print this series
• Forward to a friend

Find out about...