Caring for Aging Seniors
Prayerfully seeking the advice of others is important when making a decision concerning the care of an elderly and failing parent.
The Lord hasn’t forsaken your elder seniors, and He will guide you into making the right decisions for their care — whether it is a nursing home or an assisted living facility. He will also give you peace about your decisions even in the face of disagreement. Let Him be your first counselor.
Obviously, medical needs and conditions are primary deciding factors, too. If you aren’t satisfied with one doctor’s assessment, get a second opinion — or even a third. Don’t forget that a senior who has lived independently for more many decades has a reserve of strength from which to draw. Count on it!
Most of all, listen. Listen to your loved one’s heartfelt desires and greatest fears. My mother-in-law also suffers from macular degeneration and said she feels safest in her own home where she knows where everything is. That’s valid. She also has a next-door neighbor who could be by her side within five minutes. All these factors need to be considered.
In most cases, you have time to make an educated decision. If you need more time, consider taking your loved one into your home, at least temporarily, until another choice becomes clear. Both our moms live out-of-town and wanted to stay close to their own support groups, but we know bringing them to our home eventually is also a possibility. Trust in the Lord, not only for wisdom, but to send the right people along at the right time, and to give your elder senior an understanding of your good intentions and the love you have in your heart. When all’s said and done, it’s love that will help you get through this time of transition with more laughs and tears along the way.
Making the choice
When choosing a care facility for your elder senior, take advantage of all the information available in the community, but then do some research on your own.
- Talk to several pastors and ask them where they would or wouldn’t take one of their parents. They visit these facilities regularly, at all times of the day and night, and have a pretty good idea about the level of care in each one.
- Visit each facility on the guided tour by the appointed administrator, and again at a different time of day just to visit with some of the residents. Ask, “What do you enjoy most about living here?” and “What’s the hardest part of living here for you?”
- Ask for an activities schedule from the facility you are considering and then show up for some of the activities! Did they really take place? Were they well attended? This is all very telling.
- Consider recommendations from your parent or loved one’s doctor very seriously, too. Doctors also visit health care facilities and see things we might not. Whereas hospitals may only recommend facilities that are a part of their networks, doctors are generally willing to give you a broader overview.
Nancy Parker Brummett is an author and freelance writer living in Colorado Springs, Colo. Her books include Simply the Savior, The Journey of Elisa, and It Takes a Home.