Moving to a New Level of Faith: Advice From Those Who’ve Been There
When interviewing parents and children for these articles, it surprised us that very few individuals regretted their journey.
Articles within this series
- Overview
- Confronting Your Spouse
- Collateral Damage? Talking to Your Children
- Collateral Damage? Children With a Gay Parent Speak Out
- Developing a Plan, Finding Support
- Understanding What’s Going On
- Moving to a New Level of Faith: Advice From Those Who’ve Been There
- Divorce… Separation… What’s Okay?
- Resources and Referrals
“We need never shout across the spaces to an absent God. He is nearer than our own soul, closer than our most secret thoughts,” A.W. Tozer
You’ve gotten help. You have the support of friends and family. You’ve negotiated all of the hurdles that came with the disclosure of your spouse’s struggle. And yet at this point it may seem as if you’ll never feel truly happy again.
It is our prayer that you will experience the joy that only comes from knowing Jesus through the storms of life. You can tap into this joy by being open to all of the pain in your heart, for God enters into this brokenness and delivers His presence and peace.
When interviewing parents and children for these articles, it surprised us that very few individuals regretted their journey. Each one spent time talking about their relationships, both broken and healed, but their enthusiasm for Jesus and the ability to hear His voice dominated each conversation.
“Why did God want me to go through so much pain when all I wanted to do was serve Him? I get it now, I didn’t get it then. I can hear God’s voice in a way that wouldn’t have happened if it hadn’t been for this experience. If you’re alone out there and that’s all you’ve got,you better learn to hear it!” —Paula
“I may or may not see my dad whole and redeemed, but I know that I’ll be healed. I’m learning to quiet myself more and more. This has put me in a place where the Lord says to me, ‘Am I enough for you, or are you still trying to find hope within your family?’ My prayer life has changed from a laundry list to ‘Lord, what do You want of me?’” —Lyndsey
“I believe that until you go through something like this you really don’t know the Lord. He has been so faithful to our family. There were times I didn’t know how we would make it financially, and I’d receive a check for even more than I expected. I said, “Lord, I know You’re there and You’re going to take care of us.” —Pam
Encouragement From Those Who’ve Been There
“Here is my absolute favorite verse to stand on: I call on your name, O Lord, from the depths of the pit. You heard my plea: “Do not close your ear to my cry for relief.” You came near when I called you, and you said ,”Do not fear.” (Lamentations 3:55-57 NIV). There are so many days when I fear the next phone call, or the next conversation with my dad - or what will happen to my mom and sisters. This verse is pretty clear. What an assuring thought to know that when I call out to Him, He is near!” —Lyndsey
“Get into the Word night and day. And fall on the Lord over and over in your anguish. The verses that I hung on to: Habakuk 2:4, Malachi 4, Isaiah 54.” —Paula
“Pray and read God’s Word every day. Jesus always had the words you need. I helped my children by doing a devotion each morning and leaving it for them with little notes. I’d tell them to have a good day and to be good to others. Lean on Jeremiah 9:11-21.” Pam “Ever since the day I learned the truth about my dad, I have taken Romans 8:28 to heart. For me, I think part of this good comes in telling my story. Other than my sister, I have met only one person who I know is in the same situation. That meeting was historic to me, and it brought a sense of understanding that I had not felt before. I hope that the church can become a community where more of these meetings can take place and where Christians will join me, and those in similar situations, in our difficult and often complex call to love.” —Jeremy
“Pray that what ever is being done in secret, God will reveal it and bring it to light. To the Church: Do not minimize a spouse’s suspicions!” —Joni
“It’s okay to cry your eyes out, just don’t get stuck there. Go into counseling. Have someone in your life whom you can talk to and who will hold you accountable. The Word … this is the only way we can move forward after this kind of thing. I tried to drown out the pain through television, food, and shopping, but I realized that it was never going to go away.” —Lyndsey
You can read more testimonies of courage and victory at www.exodus-international.org*
*(Note: Referrals to Web sites not produced by Focus on the Family are for informational purposes only and do not necessarily constitute an endorsement of the sites' content.)