Resources and Referrals
After finding out that your spouse is dealing with homosexual feelings or behaviors, you should educate yourself.
Articles within this series
- Overview
- Confronting Your Spouse
- Collateral Damage? Talking to Your Children
- Collateral Damage? Children With a Gay Parent Speak Out
- Developing a Plan, Finding Support
- Understanding What’s Going On
- Moving to a New Level of Faith: Advice From Those Who’ve Been There
- Divorce… Separation… What’s Okay?
- Resources and Referrals
After finding out that your spouse is dealing with homosexual feelings or behaviors, you should educate yourself. Also try to reach out beyond your community to those who’ve walked in your shoes. We’ve compiled the best books on homosexuality and marriage along with places to find support groups. It is our hope that these resources will ease your journey and provide hope for change for you and your spouse.
As a first step we recommend finding a licensed professional counselor. You may wish to get a referral through your church or by way of our counseling ministry here at Focus on the Family. If you call Focus, you can also take the opportunity to have an initial phone conversation with one of our therapists at no charge. (All of our counselors are committed Christians, licensed therapists whose views and approach are compatible with Dr. Dobson’s psychological perspective.) We invite you to call us at 719/531-3400. Just ask for a counselors’ assistant, and don’t be discouraged if they request that you allow a counselor to call you back. One of them will contact you just as soon as possible.
Also at Focus, we have an outreach called Love Won Out. This department has a number of helpful booklets on homosexuality, but their primary ministry is to hurting parents and sexually confused individuals through nationwide conferences. At these events, our staff ministers one-on-one, facilitates networking, and provides access to some of the leading experts in the field of homosexuality. Go to www.lovewonout.org to find a conference closest to you.
We’d recommend contacting Exodus International as well. This is a ministry specifically for those struggling with homosexuality – and they also have a marriage outreach to individuals like you and your spouse. They can provide you with contact numbers for support groups in your area, information on homosexuality, and testimonies of those who’ve faced similar battles. Exodus also has a yearly conference where one can find helpful workshops, support, as well as worship and intensive prayer. Many lives are changed through this event each year. Log on to their Web site at www.exodus-international.org*, or call them at 407/599-6872.
Exodus also has an affiliate ministry to teenagers at www.livehope.org*. This is an adult monitored Web site that provides support to teens who have been affected by homosexuality.
There are a number of books that we’d recommend. Some of them will inform you, others will encourage.
When Homosexuality Hits Home by Joe Dallas (Provides excellent information for spouses and adult children.)
Someone I Love Is Gay by Anita Worthen and Bob Davies (Also excellent information for families and friends.)
Strength in Weakness: Healing Sexual and Relational Brokenness by Andrew Comiskey (Insight into the unhealthiness that blocks our relationships with God and others.)
Coming Out of Homosexuality by Bob Davies and Lori Rentzel (Speaks to the roots of homosexuality in men and women.)
Growth Into Manhood by Alan Medinger (Helps men grow into their full potential.)
Restoring Sexual Identity by Anne Paulk (Speaks to the roots of homosexuality in women.)
Portraits of Freedom by Bob Davies and Lela Gilbert (Testimonies of those who’ve overcame homosexual feelings and behavior.)
Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud (Provides advice on setting healthy boundaries in all of your relationships.)
The Healing Path: How the Hurts in Your Past Can Lead You to a More Abundant Life by Dr. Dan B. Allender (The title says it all!)
Healing the Hurt in Your Marriage by Gary and Barbara Rosburg (Explains steps for conflict resolution in the marital union.)
*(Note: Referrals to Web sites not produced by Focus on the Family are for informational purposes only and do not necessarily constitute an endorsement of the sites' content.)