My Spouse Has An Addiction
Help! My husband is addicted to video games, playing for hours on end while neglecting our family.
Articles within this series
- Overview
- My Spouse Has An Addiction
- My Spouse Is Abusive
Q. Dear Dr. Bill: My husband of three years has been addicted to video games for two years. We have an 11-month-old baby and I'm pregnant with another child. My husband has not been helping with our daughter and I'm afraid this will continue with our next child. He doesn't do anything when he's home but play video games, and on weekends he plays for nine to 11 hours at a time. Please help me. I do not know what to do. This is a horrible addiction and I really feel our family is being neglected.
A. Here at Focus on the Family, we've begun to receive more and more calls about video game addiction. It's become a real problem in many families, and it's obviously impacting yours.
Most people consider addiction to be related to substances like drugs or alcohol. But in reality, addiction can consist of anything that becomes such a priority to a person that he or she is willing to neglect friends, family, faith, responsibilities and even their physical health in order to pursue that priority. Electronic games have the potential for this sort of behavioral addiction.
Given your description, your husband may require a formal intervention, such as the type used in dealing with an alcoholic. I'd suggest you consult with a licensed Christian counselor in your area, one who has experience in dealing with addictive behavior.
It's likely that the counselor will enlist the help of your pastor or some of your husband's friends or family members. He or she will probably coordinate a time when a group of you will sit down with your husband and confront him about the extent of his problem. You'll want to arrange to have someone care for your baby during this time, as the intervention will require your full attention and all of your emotional strength.
In a best case scenario, your husband will admit that he has a problem and be willing to get help for his addiction. But there is also the possibility that he will react defensively and deny that there's anything wrong with his behavior. In that case you'll need to make some tough choices about what to do next. Regardless of what course of action you decide to follow, you'll need the support of friends, family, and your pastor or a caring therapist.
I'd encourage you to contact our counseling department at Focus on the Family for a referral to a Christian therapist in your area. You also might want to order Dr. Dobson's book Love Must Be Tough, which will provide you with some practical guidance as you deal with your husband's addiction.