Communication Skills for Children

Practicing good communication habits helps develop your child’s ability to communicate well.

Articles within this series

by Vicki Caruana

Communicate Effectively

So much depends on effective communication. Entire countries have gone to war as a result of its absence. Poor communication skills are often spoken of during marriage counseling. Everyone suffers when the communication is faulty.

Our society communicates in a multitude of ways, but how effective are these messages? How can we learn to communicate our thoughts, feelings and opinions clearly?

Are you an effective communicator? Take the time now to evaluate your status. Target some areas of improvement for yourself and practice good communication habits with your spouse, friends and family.

Are you often misunderstood?
Are you an active listener?
Are you aware of your own tone of voice when talking to your children or spouse?
Are there times when you talk too much and aren’t aware of the needs of your listeners?
Do you avoid confrontations because you don’t feel confident to argue effectively?
Do you welcome or discourage why questions from your children?

Activity

Copy Cat Drawing

This activity helps everyone learn to give clear, concise directions to achieve a common goal.

One person draws a simple picture and then directs others in drawing the same picture—without showing them what he has drawn. Each person follows the artist’s verbal directions. When finished, they compare drawings.

Discover where the artist was effective and ineffective in communicating the directions. Sometimes the drawings will look nothing like the original.

Once everyone has had a chance to be the artist, discuss ways in which everyone can work on explaining the directions better.

Lead with Confidence

Anyone with more than one child knows that some are natural leaders and some are decided followers. With follower children we worry that they will choose to follow the wrong leaders. Will they be easily swayed by peer pressure? Will they make life choices that they won’t regret?

We all have regrets, but it’s best to go through life with the least amount as possible. Every day we play Follow the Leader. The trick is to know who you're following.

A child follows you, so it’s doubly important that you know who you’re following. Effective leadership depends on more than holding the title of Mommy or Daddy.

Are you willing to put the needs of others first, or is every day run your way?
Do you effectively communicate your personal values and points of view?
Are you a credible leader? Do you walk what you talk?
Are you a good listener?
Are you willing to serve those you lead?
Do you have a vision for your family?

Activity

Family Planner

In your house, Mom may usually plan and prepare the family meal. But every member of the family should get to do so at some time.

A good leader can learn to consider the needs of others before his own when planning the family meal. It is important to take many things into consideration. The meal is chosen, a recipe found, grocery list made, meal prepared, table set and, finally, family served.

Once a month, one of our boys plans, cooks and serves the family dinner. They started doing this around age 9. Now at 10 and 12 years old, they have prepared dinner for their dad and me many times.

Here are some questions for children to consider in planning, preparing and serving a family meal:

What kind of cooking should you do? Can you get help using a stove top, oven, microwave or grill?
Does your family have any favorite foods they like?
Which day would be best for the family to be all together?
How can you make this meal special for your family? What creative ideas can you think of?
How will you serve this meal? Will you get help?
How will you present the meal? Even if it’s just hot dogs and beans, appearance is important.

This article is excerpted from Vicki's book Giving Your Child the Excellence Edge, available in the Resource Center.

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