Kids Can Pray
An active prayer life jumpstarts godly character in children, helping them with sibling rivalry, activities and respect issues.
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With so many things competing for parental attention, it’s easy to rush through prayers at meals or bedtime. Yet prayer is foundational for every child’s relationship with God. It is their avenue of access to God, and it teaches them dependency on Him, even as it develops their faith in His unchanging love.
Prayer for 0- to 3-year-olds
Fern Nichols, founder of the Moms In Touch International prayer movement, says that the most important thing to communicate to children during their first years is that God, the creator of heaven and earth, is intimately concerned about every detail of their lives.
She suggests building a habit of prayer in children from birth by continually thanking God for them and praying for them aloud throughout the day. As they get older and can sit in their high chairs at meals, she suggests encouraging them to be part of prayer time by showing them how to close their eyes and fold their hands in reverence. They may not know exactly what is going on, but they will begin to understand that it is a reverent time.
As soon as children begin to talk, they can say simple two- or three-word prayers. Amy Buck, the mother of a 24-month-old, encourages her daughter to pray aloud at meals, even if that means repeating a few words from her older brother’s prayer.
Nichols says kids at this age should understand that prayer is a fancy word for talking to God. Terri Stein, a teacher and the mother of two, suggests using a toy telephone to help toddlers or preschoolers better understand this concept. First, discuss how to use a telephone. Then explain that prayer is like having a telephone conversation with God, but they don’t need a telephone for Him to hear them. Although they won’t be able to hear God’s voice on the other end of the line, explain that God speaks to their hearts in a special language all His own.
Prayer for 4- to 7-year-olds
According to Fern Nichols of Moms In Touch, a great way to help kids continue growing in their ability to pray is to encourage them to memorize Scripture relating to prayer and to teach them how to pray Scripture back to God.
Scriptures you may choose to start with are Psalm 9:1-2 and Psalm 56:3-4. Constantly remind children how much God cares about every area of their lives, and encourage them by leading them in prayer in all different situations. For example, if your child loses a shoe, ask God for help before you start the search.
When you practice prayer, Nichols explains, your children grow in their understanding and can ask you questions. For example, if the shoe is not recovered immediately, the child wonders why God didn’t help him find it. This is a great opportunity to explain how God doesn’t always answer our prayers in the way we want Him to, because His plan may be different than ours.
Sometimes that plan may be to teach responsibility to children, such as learning to put away shoes so they can find them next time, and sometimes it is for reasons they won’t understand. But when they have prayed about something, they can trust that He always makes the right decision.
Prayer for 8- to 12-year-olds
Tweens need to understand the different ways they can pray to God. According to Fern Nichols of Moms in Touch, identifying and practicing the different aspects of praise, confession, thanksgiving and requesting can help children develop depth in their prayer life and give preteens a framework to continue growing in prayer.
Carol Bradburn, the mother of three grown children, says she believes that teaching children to praise God is crucial. This gives children a foundation for a relationship with God, regardless of circumstances. Even when God doesn’t answer their prayers in the way they want, they can still trust Him and praise Him for who He is.
Confession is also vital because it keeps the lines of communication open between God and tweens, Nichols says. It is important for children to understand the need for forgiveness and how sin affects their relationship with God. Children at this age may not be specific in their confession of sin, so encourage them to think through exactly what they have done wrong that they should confess to God.
In contrast to praise, thanksgiving is thanking God for the things He has done for humankind. Thanksgiving helps children have a grateful heart, Nichols explains. And the person with a grateful heart is a gracious person. Help your children build the habit of thanksgiving by modeling it for them throughout the day and setting aside special prayer time with them just for thanksgiving.
Making requests is usually what children think of first. Asking God for things can come naturally for them, but it is still important to help them grow in this area and in the kind of requests they make.
Prayer for 13- to 18-year-olds
Prayer can be challenging for teenagers. Carol Bradburn says she had to be creative with her kids to find time to pray with them. For her oldest son, the best time was early in the morning; for her daughter, it was early evening. Praying with teens is important, but parents should not force teens to pray with them.
Because of children’s strong interest in music, it is often good to incorporate songs into prayer time with your child. Steve Friesen, a youth pastor, suggests going online with your teen to buy and download worship music for a personalized worship disc. Sometimes using music in prayer can be a good starting point with a teenager who resists having a more formal prayer time with parents, according to Fern Nichols of Moms In Touch.
When there is resistance, Nichols advises not forcing teenagers to pray aloud if they don’t want to and suggests that parents focus on praying short prayers of blessing for the children. Some teenagers will be ready to soar in their prayer life. Regardless of teen attitudes, continue making prayer a priority and giving them encouragement without getting in the way.