Myths and Facts About Homosexuality, Part 3
Is homosexuality just another way to love, or is there danger ahead?
Is homosexuality just another way to love, or is there danger ahead?
Myth #7: Lesbian relationships are healthier than gay male relationships.
It’s generally believed that women who have sex with women are less likely to contract a sexually transmitted disease than gay men. While most of the research on medically related health risks of homosexual activity deals with men who have sex with other men, there is interesting research concerning homosexual activity among women.
Fact: Lesbian relationships are equally unhealthy, and just as life-threatening as gay male relationships.
The fact is, most women who have sex with women do not do so exclusively. Approximately two-thirds of women surveyed have also had sex with men within the last five years.1 Sexually transmitted disease rates for bisexually active women are as much as twice that of those who engage in exclusively lesbian activity.2 Likewise, studies have also shown that a significant number of lesbian women engage in other risky behaviors which increase medical risks of disease, such as drug use and exchanging sex for drugs and money.3 Another study reported that lesbians may have higher rates of breast and ovarian cancer because of a variety of risk factors like nulliparity (never having borne a child), childbearing later in life, higher rates of alcohol consumption and obesity.”4
The National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs (NCAVP) has reported that domestic violence is as common in lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender relationships as it is in heterosexual relationships. While Lesbian partnerships generally are of longer duration than gay male relationships, there exists the counterfeit of healthy attachment-including, manipulative behaviors, emotional dependency and over-enmeshment.5
Why does the truth matter?
It’s important that women know the consequences of their choices. Lesbians are not excluded from the realities of promiscuity, like the HIV virus. The sad truth is that because this myth is being perpetuated, many lesbians are going to the doctor less often. While most heterosexual women visit the gynecologist every eight to nine months on average, the average for lesbians is every 21 to 24 months.6 This is cause for great concern as “many lesbian-identified women have other risk factors for cervical dysplasia, such as multiple male partners, heterosexual intercourse at an early age and cigarette smoking.”7
Again, God’s Word clearly speaks of consequences to sinful behavior. The only true form of “safe sex” is abstinence, or within a heterosexual marriage of one man and one woman. Whether you have lustful temptations for someone of your same sex or of the opposite sex, you can take a stand for purity and experience a lifetime of rewards. True love is worth the wait—not only because the risk of promiscuity, but because God has only blessed sex in the context of a heterosexual marriage.
Myth #8: Homosexuality is unchangeable.
This is probably the most devastating myth of homosexuality circulating today. Yet, most homosexuals believe that their homosexuality is so much a part of their identity, that they can do nothing about it. In his report, “Homosexuality in America: Exposing the Myths,” Richard Howe suggests two major reasons why homosexual activists promote this myth:
- They would be admitting that there are those in the homosexual community who, after careful thought, have concluded that it is wrong to be homosexual and that it does not lead to personal happiness and fulfillment. Focusing on those homosexuals who want to change continues to emphasize the immorality and personal destructiveness of homosexuality.
- They would be denying that homosexuality is physically caused. The more the homosexual community can convince the general public that their homosexuality is beyond their control, the more tolerance or even preferential treatment they can gain in public policy.8
Fact: There is freedom from homosexuality.
The truth is, there are a tremendous number of homosexuals who have changed, and professional opinions are changing on this issue as well.
Dr. Robert L. Spitzer, the prominent psychiatrist who led the team that deleted homosexuality from the diagnostic manual in 1973, now says homosexuality may be changeable. “Like most psychiatrists,” said Dr. Spitzer, “I thought that homosexual behavior could be resisted—but that no one could really change their sexual orientation. I now believe that’s untrue—some people can and do change.”9 To the researcher’s surprise, good heterosexual functioning was reportedly achieved by 67 percent of men who had rarely or never felt any opposite-sex attraction before the change process.10 “Contrary to conventional wisdom,” Spitzer concluded, “some highly motivated individuals, using a variety of change efforts, can make substantial change in multiple indicators of sexual orientation and achieve good heterosexual functioning. I’m convinced from the people I have interviewed, that for many of them, they have made substantial changes toward becoming heterosexual . . . I think that’s news . . . I came to this study skeptical, I now claim that these changes can be sustained.”11 Other professionals have reported a range from 50 to 70 percent success rate in the treatment of unwanted homosexual attraction.12 Findings such as these have prompted some professionals to admit that homosexuals can change their sexual orientation through a variety of change efforts.
Individuals who have gone through an Exodus International Member Ministry have discovered that Jesus Christ is sufficient to make the difference. “The road begins not with just giving up on the gay life, not with trying to relate with a woman, not with just trying to relate to other men in a different way; it begins with coming into a relationship with God . . . From where many of us stand who have gone down that road, it was difficult, but it was worth it a hundred times over, because it has been the way to joy, freedom and personal fulfillment.”13 Is homosexuality unchangeable? Hardly. There is plenty of evidence that homosexual attraction can be diminished and that changes can be made.
Why does the truth matter?
God is clear about the consequences of unrighteousness such as homosexual behavior. Yet, as with other sinful lifestyles, homosexuality is forgivable if a person repents of his or her actions and turns to God. His power can bring healing, restoration and change. That’s the message that’s being silenced today: there is freedom from homosexuality through the unconditional love and grace of Jesus Christ. Of course, ending a destructive behavior—especially one that is addictive in nature like drinking, smoking or having homosexual (or heterosexual) intercourse—is a difficult task. But there is so much hope with Jesus! Think about it: God’s power is amazing! If He could raise Jesus from the dead, He can rescue a person from any entanglement.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9, NIV).
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, and the new has come! (2 Corinthians 5:17, NIV).
You can help someone struggling with homosexuality.
The best thing you can do for someone you know battling the sin of homosexuality is pray! Ask God to give you opportunities to show your care and concern for them and pray for the strength and courage to share the truth in love. Dr. Jeffrey Satinover has written extensively on the struggle of homosexuality and has helped countless people help others—and help themselves. The following has been adapted from his “What to Do . . . and Not to Do” list from his report “Homosexuality Facts versus Fictions.”14
- Remember that all of us have sinned and fallen short of God’s glory. So, be willing to share about your own personal struggles and temptations.
- Don’t condemn. People have not “chosen” to “have homosexual feelings” the way some choose to live in a certain city. To describe it this way is to convince them that you have no understanding at all about their experience—and no sympathy for it, as well. Know that the core of the homosexual struggle is rejection.
- Don’t start citing all the problems with homosexuality. Consider how rarely exhortations convince someone to give up alcohol or smoking. But don’t go to the opposite extreme either. Unquestioning acceptance of homosexuality as a legitimate “alternative” may seem at first to be the only compassionate option. But there are better and more appropriate approaches that show concern and understanding, yet deal with the reality of the situation.
- Try to prevent the problem before it occurs. Openly discuss the subject of homosexuality with your friends or anyone you are close to who may be struggling. Familiarize yourself with the causes and address them at an early time. Help them understand the risks.
- Share specific avenues of help like the ministry of Exodus International–North America that has helped thousands of men and women in the midst of their struggle with homosexuality. Give them hope that change is possible! Perhaps even share this article with them. Even if the person is defensive and resistant, a specific route of assistance that is lovingly offered may be followed some day down the road.
- Show love, concern, gentleness and respect as you point the way to healing.
Need more help?
Exodus International-North America is a worldwide coalition of Christian ministries that offers support to men and women seeking to overcome homosexuality, as well as services for family members and friends. Most of these ministries offer support groups, one-on-one counseling and literature. For a free packet of literature on the work of Exodus, including a complete list of referral ministries, contact: Exodus International-North America, P.O. Box 540119 Orlando, FL 32854; (888) 264-0877; e-mail: info@exodus.to; www.exodus.